The Unseen Option

I am blessed to have several options that pay well when it comes to career choices. God knew just where I would be at this point in my life. I sure didn't. I've told you before, if I had made a list of the ten thousand things that could possibly befall me throughout the rest of my life, what really happened to me would not have made that list. There's not even the slightest possibility. But here I am. And I think about that almost every day. God knew. He had it all planned out. He knew the work that He would do in my heart. He knew of this website. He had prepared provisions for me. He has been with me every step of the way. Why was I so scared? God needed me scared. He needed me terrified and broken and without hope. He knew that I would run to Him. He knows me. Oh, the things that I've learned! The work He has done in my life. I am not even the same person that I was. But, about my career options. I had been tutoring adults with learning disabilities when my life exploded. I taught adults to read. I loved doing that. And it paid well. But my source of clientele was in a different state than the one in which I landed. But still, that was option A. Then, there was the counseling. I love what I do in providing Christian, Biblical counsel. I have been doing it for all of my adult life, but only for the past six years as a professional, licensed career choice. Christian counseling pays twice what private tutoring pays. But, private counseling is not a steady income, and working for a counseling center is not really my cup of tea. I have to counsel strictly from my heart and the Word of God, and I can see conflict when answering to a person with different values and principles. But still, that was option B. And then, about a year ago I went to school to learn court mediation. Twice! Once for circuit court, and then a second time for the courts of appeal. My fellow students were almost exclusively lawyers and judges. It was the most challenging thing that I've ever done, education-wise. Court mediation pays twice what Christian counseling pays, which is twice what private tutoring pays. And private tutoring pays very well. But there was a problem with mediation, as well. How could there possibly be a problem with a job that pays minimally two hundred dollars an hour, you might ask? Ha! The problem with court mediation goes back to a conversation that a shy, backward and broken teenage girl had with the Lord more than forty years ago. I told the Lord then that if He could find anything in me that He could use, that my life was His. I've told you that before. I meant it, and so did He when He took me up on my offer. Well, I had nothing to offer. He has made me everything that I am. Without Him, I am nothing. But court mediation was not service to my Father. I made a deal with Him when I was just a child, and He blesses me accordingly. It really was not even a struggle. But I counted it as option C. Just in case He lead that way. And so, when I began to pray about these things, asking God to lead me as to the three options that I laid out before Him, an interesting thing happened. One Sunday morning I was talking to a dear, sweet older lady at church. She is old enough to be my mom, and one of my favorite people in all of the world. When I didn't know a soul and when she knew nothing about me, she loved me and loved me well. She offered to me unconditional love when I was trying to be invisible, no questions asked. I am eternally grateful, and I will in turn love her forever with that same unconditional love. She spent her life as a schoolteacher in a traditional classroom, so we have a lot in common. And it is with this dear woman that I am conversing. We are talking about her very popular and well attended Sunday School class. It is not the Sunday School class that I attend. I said something about what a good teacher she is and how much the ladies in her class love her. She replied humbly that she would not be much of a teacher without the wonderful ladies that make up her class. "After all," she continued, "what is a teacher without students?" I took a step back, did a deep curtsy for dramatic effect, and replied, "You are looking at the poster child for such a thing." A teacher without students. Psalms 32:8 - "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." That evening I was approached by the school administrator. Would I be interested in this sixth grade teaching position? Recruited. Clearly of the Lord. Not option A, B, or C. Why do I do that? Why do I tell the Lord what His options are, and call it prayer? That's not prayer. God is not a genie in a bottle, to grant my wishes. Neither is He waiting for me to come to Him with an update on current events, by the way. Nor does He need that. I was created to have fellowship with Him and to bring glory to His dear name. Perhaps I'll leave the life-planning up to Him. He seems to have it all under control without me. :)